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When the paparazzi are not looking

So I've been doing my bit for the community recently, celeb appearances and all that...and this week I truly mingled with the common man. I went on a bus!

How fabulous these inventions are, you can just hop on, completely for free, it takes you into town and you hop off.

Wonderful. I'm definitely one of the people now... as I told the paparazzi...

Have they gone now?

Oh thank god. Get me off. Get me off now! Where's my chauffeur?! Freaking bouncing along whizzing past Chanel to stop at the local leisure centre (don't they have private gyms)?!

Omg I've never felt so alone! And what's that bit the driver said about I can hop on if there isn't another dog already onboard?! I've never been so insulted. I'm a VIP.

They said being in the community would help me to make friends, who with exactly? These people??

No! I think we all need to take a step back, this was one photo op that was too many. I ain't ever doing that again (I'm even talking bus language now)!

Work with Rafa Capri, email him at

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